As soon as your wedding is over, there is a whole new life ahead of you that is just waiting to be lived. Unfortunately, this also means that there will be a whole new set of challenges to overcome, and this is true no matter how strong your love is before your tie the knot. Everything is fun and games while you’re engaged because the true commitment has yet to come, but once you say your vows at your wedding and exchange your wedding rings, your lives are now combined for the rest of your lives. There are many common marriage problems that rear their ugly head as soon as you finish your honeymoon, but the good news is that there is no shortage of solutions. The best chance you have for success is to be aware of the potential pitfalls and take them on before they become a long term problem. Here are some of the most common marriage problems that newlywed couples experience as well as some solutions to help you overcome them.
Time Apart
One of the most common problems that many young couples experience after their wedding is a clingy spouse. While it is to be expected that you’ll be spending a lot more time together making decisions and living your day-to-day lives, it is still important to have a little bit of independence. There is nothing more suffocating than a spouse that wants to spend every waking moment together because it eventually leads to a quite dinner table where neither person has anything new to say.
The solution to this problem can be as simple as maintaining your existing friendships and keeping them somewhat separate from each other. While it’s equally important for your spouse to get along with your friends, having a girls or guys night out can really go a long way to give each other the breathing room that you so desperately need. Try to strike a good balance between getting together with friends as a couple and going out alone and you will find that you have a lot more fun when you’re together. Also, make sure you allot plenty of time for yourself even if it’s just sitting in the backyard with a good book or taking a nice hot bath all by yourself from time to time.
Broken Record
One of the things that we’ve all heard growing up is that opposites attract, and this is inescapably true among married couples. Even if you seem to have a whole lot in common on the surface, things like musical taste or favorite movies can become an issue as a marriage wanes on. Many couples find themselves growing tired of hearing the same opinions or points of view day after day about things that only one of them finds important, and this can quickly lead to resentment in even the strongest of marriages.
The solution to this problem is to have a long discussion about diversifying the conversation. Instead of getting angry when someone brings up a topic that you’re tired of hearing, consider changing the subject to a predefined topic that both of you enjoy. Additionally, you need to try to keep an open mind and endure things that your partner has a strong passion for. The best advice I received at my wedding was from my father when he told me that I should never stop trying to learn about my husband and to try to embrace the same things that he enjoys so much.
Family Holidays
Let’s face it, no matter how much you love your spouse; there are people in their family that you just can’t stand. When the holidays roll around each year, seeing both side of the family can be difficult because of time or travel restraints. This can typically lead to arguments over which family you’re going to visit, and those arguments can eventually lead to an underlying resentment.
The solution to this problem is as simple as off holidays between families. One year, you spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with your, the next you do the opposite. It’s also important to remember that the feeling you may have towards certain members of his family are likely mirrored from his point of view about yours, so having a little understanding can go a long way.
Bedroom Woes
After your wedding and the subsequent honeymoon, many couples slowly begin to lose their intimacy in the bedroom. This isn’t uncommon and is to be expected on a certain level, but keeping things interesting can really seem difficult as you grow accustomed to their appearance and charm.
The solution to this problem will take a little effort, but it certainly something that all couples have to deal with. The first step to success in this department is to create a romance schedule where you spend at least two nights each week doing something romantic like a date night. Since scheduling your love life doesn’t seem that romantic, you also have to add some spontaneity. Try changing things up from time to time and surprising your partner when they least expect. It’s also important to avoid “keeping score” and becoming frustrated over who initiates the romance. If you take a concerted effort to spice things up, you will be pleasantly surprised at how well he responds and takes things into his own hands.
The bottom line is that things change after your wedding and you’ll need to adapt as situations arise. Though you may have your heart set on a “fairy tale” life after your wedding has come and gone, the reality is that marriage can be tough from time to time and will really test your convictions. Just stay true to your vows and keep an open dialogue and you are sure to find a solution to any problems that turn up during the course of your marriage.
